WHAT IS YOUR STORY?
It’s not that Marilyn wasn’t devastated when the fire killed three of her prize stallions. She was. For a while she cried at the sight of every horse in every pasture on every farm. Her steps were concrete. Her enthusiasm lost. Still when the sadness began to feel more like a prickly thistle than delicate floss, Marilyn realized she was missing out on important parts of life. She decided to open her heart and her notebook. She wrote only one word – yes. The next day she wrote Do something different. A few days later she recounted watching a sunset while stroking the broad neck of her mare. It was then she knew it was time. Even while the salty tears rolled down her cheek, she smiled as she took hold of the reins once again.
~ ~ ~
Everyone has a story - a hundred stories - ten thousand stories. Some of them have bittersweet endings, like Marilyn's above. Some end in mystery. Others tell tragic or joyful endings. Depending on which story we tell, we impart hope or despair, humor or dismay, courage or fear to the listener. Llkewise, the story we choose to tell ourself rekindles our energy or kicks our spirit in the gut.
We tell stories, re-tell, and memorize stories. We remember stories and sometimes forget them. We invent stories, embellish and polish stories. Often we revise them as time passes. We entertain, educate, entrance, and employ others to a cause with our stories. All the while, we also hear other people telling stories. When we relate to their story, often we pass it along to others.
At my grandparent's home, storytelling took on double meanings. It was considered both good and bad. On one hand, Grandpa told great jokes and recounted old memories as we passed the fried chicken and potatoes around the family table. We loved his storytelling. On the other hand, when my brother and I told our imaginary tales, it was viewed as fibbing. "Telling a story" and "making things up were considered synonymous with lying." Our no-nonsense-grandmother frowned on my creative fiction, so for a while storytelling lived on the forbidden, dark side of my life. Now-a-days my brother, like Grandpa, tells a good joke. And me? I prefer to write my stories and most of them are true. I hope my dead grandmother is paying attention.
Stories have been with us forever. After all, isn't history nothing more than one long story? So why are we surprised to find a new wave of storytelling reaching across the nation? StoryCorp travels across the country in a small trailer collecting oral histories for the Library of Congress. Turn on NPR and you will hear "The Story." (aired locally on weekday mornings.) At Columbia University, Rita Charon, a medical doctor earned a Ph.D. in English and discovered how telling stories and listening to them is central to the field of medicine. Dr. Charon now directs a Program in Narrative Medicine at Columbia. Other universities follow Columbia's lead and teach physicians how to listen to their patient's stories in order to improve treatment outcomes.
A clinical psychologist in New York treats war veterans by insisting they write their war-trauma stories. Rather than re-traumatize these brave soldiers, writing the stories helps liberate them from recurring nightmares and other symptoms of PTSD.
Boise State University jumped into the story business as well. The BSU project, called The Story Initiative, is designed to help students (and the community) explore how Story works in our lives and in our minds. From the Boise State program I quote, "Story is how we inhabit Time. Story is how cultures and individuals remember, and how we plan and dream."
If you happen to be someone who is shy about telling your story, I invite you to join the new wave of the old ways. Your stories of life and living are important to your health and the health of those around you. Like a good diet and good sleep, story helps us live longer and better.
Our stories remind us of what matters - that we matter and our experiences and dreams matter. What also matters is that what we learn is not lost. When we capture our stories, we remind ourselves of the lessons we learn and the lessons we (almost) forgot. For all these reasons, we tell stories and write stories and then we give them away.